Dealing With Jerks In The Work Place

louisville-class-b-office-space-300x199Greetings fellow ruffians, today I’ve decided to give my two cents on a subject that just about everyone has to deal with at one time or another, jerks at the job. Typically speaking, everyone immediately points the finger at the boss for being the towering turd, but such is not always the case. Below I will explain my take on the different kinds of jerks and how to deal with or at the very least navigate around the aforementioned A-holes.

1. The Tall Tale Teller

This person has seen it all, done it all, and can do it better than anyone in the whole company, but has yet to advance themselves since oh about 1979. This person is probably one of the easiest to deal with, simply listen to the barrage of bullshit they have to tell you and be on your merry way, nothing more, and nothing less. As rapper K Camp says “it ain’t nothin to cut that bitch off.”

2. The Negative Nate/Nancy

This one can really bring you down should you be weak minded enough to let them. They go around doing barely enough to keep their job and complaining about not getting anywhere at the workplace or in life. My suggestion is to kill them with kindness. Give them advice on how to make the daily grind a little better or maybe even challenge them to be the change that they wish to see.

3. The Backstabber

The O’Jays put it best “they smile in your face, all the time they wanna take your place” this can be the one of the most dangerous type to deal with, as they can and will try to do anything to build themselves up while putting you down. The best way I’ve found to get around this individual is to keep them just close enough to know what kind of poppycock they’re up to, while keeping them far enough away to block their bs at every angle they may come from. As the old saying goes “keep your friends close but your enemies closer”.

4. The Bosses Best

This is the person that for lack of a better term is a straight up suck ass. While the boss may entertain their fake ways, he or she will see their fake ness from a mile away, as will their coworkers. With that being said, they will generally lose on both fronts because neither party will truly trust them. As we all know if you have no trust, you have nothing. My advice is sit back and let the universe do the work.

5. The Chatty Cathy

We all have that one person who constantly gossips about who is doing what, and just generally stirring up trouble in the workplace but will never own up to saying any of it. In my experience, the best way to deal with this is to be indifferent when talking to them should you have to. Don’t give an opinion on anything they’re talking about, don’t tell them what you think about another person, and DEFINITELY don’t give your true feelings about your boss. Everything you say will be the topic of discussion to the next guy.

Why would I choose to take the time to write about this subject you ask? The answer is equal parts simple and terrible. I have been a victim of each and every one of these sorts of ass clowns listed above. It’s my hope that this article will help you in spotting and dealing with the jerk in YOUR workplace without you losing your job or your sanity. Be a ruffian, stay distinguished.office_space_gif_by_wheen_store-d4kus1k



Juices Top 5 Ways to Determine What Gifts Your Girl Friend Really Wants

Afternoon Ruffians and welcome to the inaugural addition of my weekly Top 5.  Today I want to discuss one of the most frustrating tasks for any man especially for today’s Ruffian on the go: Buying a gift for your girlfriend.

Have you ever bought a knock out gift for your girlfriend only to be disappointed that it didn’t knock her off her feet? If so, think back to when you purchased that gift.  How did you determine this was what she really wanted?  Did you just think of things she likes and purchased accordingly? Maybe, you thought you knew your girlfriend so well that any gift you chose would work. These are common mistakes for most Ruffians. What I have listed below are some of my proven methods for ensuring I always get my girlfriend something that will pack a punch.

5. Shop With Her

As boring as this may be for most of us, shopping with your woman can be very beneficial in the ultimate hunt for a gift she will love.  A lot of times, they go in and out of stores trying on clothes or looking at purses and shoes that they don’t purchase at that time.  By keeping a mental snapshot of some of these items you will ultimately get her a gift that she would have purchased for herself.   If you are newer in your relationship, this can also work in identifying what types of things she doesn’t like.  This will save you tons of time in the future, helping you eliminate items immediately that she wouldn’t care for. More than anything, it will save you cash on purchases that she wouldn’t even value.

4.  Ask Her Friends

Unlike navigating to a destination, sometimes a man just needs a little help.   A often overlooked treasure trove of information can be a phone call away.  Your girlfriends friends are more in tune with what she would like (clothing, accessories, make up etc..) than you would be for the most part.  By using her friends for a covert gift mission, this strategy works on two levels for you. First, you get a guarantee that the gift the friend is choosing is something that your girlfriend has spoken to her about.  Second, the girlfriend’s friend gets to feel like she’s played a critical part in a significant moment in your relationship.  Now, I will warn you, this might involve some annoying conversations and some running around but it will be well worth it.

3.  Check Her Closet

This is one of the most readily available ways to determine what gifts she really wants, especially if you guys live together.  Just poke your head in the closet.  This little trick tells you the primary components you need for making a killer purchase, without even leaving the comforts of the bedroom.  What to look for when you take a peek in the closet is simple.

  • Brand
  • Purse Styles
  • Shoe Size and style
  • Clothing Sizes


These 4 simple things cover the basics of getting your lady any article of clothing.   You can never go wrong shopping her favorite labels and styles.  Those are the labels and styles she tends to wear anyways.  Whatever you do, do not set yourself up for failure by forgetting to get the sizes.  WRITE THEM DOWN.  This way there will be no spit balling the measurements and looking like a fool when you give her a saggy pair of those yoga pants we all enjoy.   Don’t be a fool, shop with confidence.

2. ETSY or Pinterest

This one takes a little sleuthing but nothing that a calabash pipe and cell phone can’t handle.  If you have a girlfriend that uses either one of these sites, then get your ass registered and log in.  Add your girlfriend as a friend on either site. You’ll see what items she “likes” automatically on your feed.  The reason I love this strategy is because it takes a good bit of the brain work out of the hunt.  Technically, she is telling you what she wants every time she taps a heart and it pops up on your feed. Bam! Hand delivered gift ideas to you on the regular.  It doesn’t get much easier than that.  The other reason both these sites are awesome, is they both offer unique items that would normally not be available for purchase in stores.  This will get you extra bonus points for thinking outside the box and getting an extraordinary gift.

1.  Listen to Her

The easiest but often the most difficult plan to execute;  My number 1 way to know what gifts you should get your girlfriend is to listen to her.  A lot of times your girlfriend will repeatedly mention what she wants using some key “buzz” phrases.  Some of them include, “it would be nice if…”, “Oh, that’s really cute”, or even as direct as “I’d love to have one of those.”   Often these phrases go in one ear and out of the other without a second thought.  By taking a couple of seconds to actually sit down and listen to what my girlfriend tells me, I have been able to grab insights on what items she really wants while masking it as general communication.  Like the great orator Les Brown says, “The plan is simple, but no, it is not easy”.  You got to make some time to talk to her and sometimes even bait the information out of her.  This will take 100% of your attention, so I am afraid to say, you will have to put down the Belvenie and the Undercrown and listen to exactly what she is telling you.  However, this exercise in listening, if done correctly, is the closest to a thing to a guaranteed great gift as you can get.  It’s not rocket science; get her what she tells you she wants.

Some of these ideas maybe new to you and some may be old but they are all guaranteed to work if done with the right attitude and end goal in mind. Hopefully this information helps you as much as it has helped me. So with that being said, keep your pipes hot, your beer cold and your women happy.  Stay Distinguished.