Greetings fellow ruffians, today I’ve decided to give my two cents on a subject that just about everyone has to deal with at one time or another, jerks at the job. Typically speaking, everyone immediately points the finger at the boss for being the towering turd, but such is not always the case. Below I will explain my take on the different kinds of jerks and how to deal with or at the very least navigate around the aforementioned A-holes.

1. The Tall Tale Teller

This person has seen it all, done it all, and can do it better than anyone in the whole company, but has yet to advance themselves since oh about 1979. This person is probably one of the easiest to deal with, simply listen to the barrage of bullshit they have to tell you and be on your merry way, nothing more, and nothing less. As rapper K Camp says “it ain’t nothin to cut that bitch off.”

2. The Negative Nate/Nancy

This one can really bring you down should you be weak minded enough to let them. They go around doing barely enough to keep their job and complaining about not getting anywhere at the workplace or in life. My suggestion is to kill them with kindness. Give them advice on how to make the daily grind a little better or maybe even challenge them to be the change that they wish to see.

3. The Backstabber

The O’Jays put it best “they smile in your face, all the time they wanna take your place” this can be the one of the most dangerous type to deal with, as they can and will try to do anything to build themselves up while putting you down. The best way I’ve found to get around this individual is to keep them just close enough to know what kind of poppycock they’re up to, while keeping them far enough away to block their bs at every angle they may come from. As the old saying goes “keep your friends close but your enemies closer”.

4. The Bosses Best

This is the person that for lack of a better term is a straight up suck ass. While the boss may entertain their fake ways, he or she will see their fake ness from a mile away, as will their coworkers. With that being said, they will generally lose on both fronts because neither party will truly trust them. As we all know if you have no trust, you have nothing. My advice is sit back and let the universe do the work.

5. The Chatty Cathy

We all have that one person who constantly gossips about who is doing what, and just generally stirring up trouble in the workplace but will never own up to saying any of it. In my experience, the best way to deal with this is to be indifferent when talking to them should you have to. Don’t give an opinion on anything they’re talking about, don’t tell them what you think about another person, and DEFINITELY don’t give your true feelings about your boss. Everything you say will be the topic of discussion to the next guy.

Why would I choose to take the time to write about this subject you ask? The answer is equal parts simple and terrible. I have been a victim of each and every one of these sorts of ass clowns listed above. It’s my hope that this article will help you in spotting and dealing with the jerk in YOUR workplace without you losing your job or your sanity. Be a ruffian, stay distinguished.

Cheers

Turk